


Clozapine is Coming for You

by gudlyfe2007



Series: Sundance Syndrome [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Blood, Cutting, Delusions, Denial, Gen, Gentle Iwaizumi, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, Implied OCD, Iwai being literally the best boyfriend ever, M/M, Mental Illness, Multi, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Psychosis, Scars, Schizophrenia, Stimming, Suicide mention, austistic kenma, daisuga - Freeform, faking mental illness, faking schizophrenia, from oikawa mostly, iwaoi - Freeform, japanese Starbucks yo, kenma's brain book, problematic kenma, psychotic conversations, really visible symptoms of schizophrenia, slightly OOC if we're being honest, supportive Kuroo, unwillingness to take meds, vomitting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 17:04:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8925208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gudlyfe2007/pseuds/gudlyfe2007
Summary: When the sun finally dances away, children's demons come out to play. this part of the series inspired by "Milk and Cookies" by Melanie Martinez--1, 2, melatonin is coming for you3, 4, baby, won't you lock the door?5, 6, I'm done with it7, 8, it's getting late, so close your eyes, sleep the daysHush, little baby, drink your spoiled milkI'm fucking crazy, need my prescription filled





	1. No Need for a Refill

**Author's Note:**

> so I know this isn't a very popular fic/series yet, and I'm not sure my writings will ever be, but I hope so! part three in the Sundance Syndrome series, this one is about Oikawa basically written from the perspective of his bf Iwaizumi. 
> 
> I have similar symptoms/illnesses to what's going on with Oikawa, but if anyone feels like i'm romanticizing schizophrenia/psychosis too much, please let me know and if you could please tell me what I could be doing differently! I want to make these fics as accurate as I can when talking about such heavy topics. pls enjoy now ^^

People asked about Oikawa Tooru. Pretty much everyone did - cute girls asked when he was free next, teacher’s asked if he had time to tutor one of his kouhais because of his smarts and good grades, and when his birthday rolled around the braver students would straight out ask him what he wanted while the meeker ones would guess and end up bringing him an assortment of mochi and different flavored pocky. 

 

Lately, his volleyball team had been asking the most questions about him. 

 

“Where’s Oikawa-senpai?” 

 

“Didn’t he show up to class today?” 

 

“No, he didn’t. Does anyone know what’s going on with our captain?” 

 

“Seriously? This is the eighth day he hasn’t been in school or practice.” 

 

“Do you think he’s okay?” 

 

\--

 

Iwaizumi Hajime could confirm as he jiggled open the door to Oikawa’s apartment, that no, Aoba-Jhousai’s captain was most definitely not okay, especially if the twenty-two unanswered text messages from him was anything to go by. 

 

“Shittykawa?” he called as he stepped into the dark house, using the familiar nickname for his friend. “You in here?” The aura of the entire place seemed to be pulled tight with cleanliness. If Iwaizumi had to guess he would say that at least four different cleaning products had been used in the past hour and a half. That could not have been good for anyone.

 

He wandered through the room and noticed the added Christmas lights situated in loops around precise and neat symbols scratched in the wall. That’s new, he thought to himself and wondered what this addition meant. 

 

Iwaizumi crossed the kitchen, which was also covered in darkness, before noticing a shape sitting underneath the table. “Hey Shittykawa,” he said as he crouched down in front of the setter. “What are you doing under the table today?” 

 

“Waiting, I suppose,” he muttered. Iwaizumi made notes of the bags under his eyes and asked him how long it had been since he slept. 

 

“Uh...a couple hours,” Oikawa replied. 

 

“Alright. That’s convincing, I guess. Are you going to also use that charm to convince me that you took your medicine too?” 

 

A smile momentarily cracked on Oikawa’s pale face and he lightly pushed his assistant captain. “You admit I’m charming?” He wiggled his eyebrows and Iwaizumi glared. 

 

“Shitty boy.” He rolled his eyes and gently coaxed Oikawa out from under the table. 

 

“But I’m your shitty boy.” He wrapped his arms around Iwaizumi’s shoulders and leaned his head into the crook of his neck. The latter rubbed small circles into his back, taking note of how he trembled. 

 

“But seriously, Tooru. Have you taken your medicine yet?” There was a long pause when Oikawa tensed up. 

 

“No.” 

 

“Come on. Let’s go take care of that.” Iwaizumi pulled away from the embrace, grabbing Oikawa’s hand in a rare moment of gentleness. Oikawa ripped his hand away immediately though, only offering it back after covering it with the long sleeves of his oversized sweater. Iwai raised his eyebrows in suspicion. The sentimental part of him urged him to push and ask what was under the sleeve, but a part of him reminded him that he needed to give his friend space.

 

Alas, the sentimental side of him won out after seeing flashes in the back of his mind of Oikawa passed out, slouched over on a blood stained couch, face caked in vomit and wrists bright red. “You have something you wanna tell me, Tooru?” 

 

He looked away before walking ahead of Iwaizumi to the bathroom, which was just as organized and pristine as the rest of his house. “Tooru,” Iwaizumi called. He sped after him and found Oikawa sitting on the closed toilet picking at the edges of his track shorts. “Tooru. Do you have something you want to tell me.” It was a command this time, not a question. 

 

Iwaizumi resisted the urge to pull down his captain’s sleeve himself while simultaneously preparing himself for the gashes he might find. Oikawa sighed. “Tooru.” 

 

Oikawa got up and reached for the medicine cabinet above the sink, purposely letting his sleeve fall down and glancing at Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi could say he was honestly surprised at what was under the fabric - just pale red and pink scars that weren’t quite healed but well on their way. 

 

He grabbed his friend’s hands and traced the marks up and down his arms, stopping to hold his cold fingers in his. “Why were you scared to show me these ones? I already knew about them.” 

 

“I didn’t want you to see the bugs. I didn’t want you to think I was gross.” 

 

Iwaizumi ran his fingers up and down his arms one more time. Ignoring the bug comment he instead said, “It’s alright. I don’t think you’re gross, whether there’s one bug on you or ten million. We can deal with bugs. Right?” 

 

Oikawa nodded, but halted in the process of retrieving his medication. 

 

His friend caught on almost immediately when the brunette averted his eyes. The bags under them now seemed twice as noticeable. 

 

“Tooru. How long has it been since you’ve taken your medication?” 

 

He didn’t answer. Iwaizumi willed his impatience mixed with concern to settle. He opened the cabinet and retrieved four bottles - Compazine, Clozaril, Ritalin, and Benztropine. To his disappointment, they were all still over half full. 

 

“Tooru…” he said, voice breaking. 

 

“I don’t need them.” Oikawa paused. “A god - not even a demigod - needs synthetic shit to recover.” 

 

“No, that’s /why/ you need this ‘synthetic shit.’ Especially the Clozapine, which I notice is the one with the most pills left.” Iwaizumi frowned. Oikawa sighed through his nostrils, appearing to grow irritated. 

 

“But you know what a god - and especially a demigod - does need?” 

 

“What.” He didn’t sound too particularly interested in what his friend would answer, however. 

 

“Organic green tea lattes. From Starbucks.” Oikawa perked up. 

 

“Paid for by the most wonderful boyfriend in the entire fucking world?” 

 

Iwaizumi glared. “We’re not going that far, Shittykawa.” The taller pouted, but threw his arms around his partner anyway. Iwaizumi then noticed the smell of bile coming from him and resisted wrinkling his nose. 

 

“But before we go out you’re taking you’re Compazine.” 

 

“Ugh, I’ll only take it if I can wash it down with Starbucks.” 

 

“Uh, actually no. Because if you don’t take it now, you’re going to throw up on the way to Starbucks and won’t be able to have anything because you’ll be too damn sick.” 

 

It was Oikawa’s turn to wrinkle his nose in distaste. “Fine, fine.” He popped the pill and swallowed it without water, much to his friend’s dismay. 

 

“Water, Shittykawa.” Iwaizumi pointed to the cup next to the sink. Oikawa filled it and downed the liquid begrudgingly. 

 

“Water, Shittykawa,” he mocked in a high-pitched voice as he got out his toothbrush. However he didn’t hesitate to glance sideways at Iwaizumi and smile. He rolled his eyes. 

 

\--

 

People asked about Oikawa Tooru - all kinds of people did. Girls, boys, kouhais, classmates, teachers, coaches and teammates. The asked, but to certain questions - “are you okay, Oikawa-senpai?” - they would never get a truly honest answer. 

 

And sometimes, even though he knew him the absolute best, practically like the back of his hand or even his own heart, when Iwaizumi Hajime asked if Oikawa Tooru was okay even he was never answered with total honesty. 

 

It hadn’t passed him that the fifth bottle in the medicine cabinet was unlabeled save for a smiley face surrounded by tiny rainbows and was frighteningly empty.


	2. People Can Hear Your Amature Diagnosis In Public, Dude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma has a "Brain Book," Kuroo is enthusiastic about his best friend's hobbies until they have the potential to royally screw them over, and then two brother stride in. Both Kuroo and Kenma's blood runs cold at the sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so a LOT of research actually went into this chapter. i am determined to make this series as accurate as possible, and as somebody who has some mental illness i realize t hat i don't speak for everyone in the community so if anyone wants to tell me things they'd like me to change or things they'd like me to add in the future go for it! I have decided i am writing this with mentally ill/disabled haikyuu fans who want to see more representation for them in fics. lemme know what yall think of this one! next part of the series will be focused almost exlusively on Kenma and Kuroo.

“And last card. This is make it or break, Kenma. The moment of truth.” 

 

“Just read the question already, Kuroo.” 

 

“You got it, number one contestant. But I think this one will break you - there’s so many hard words there’s /no way/ you have all of them memorized by now.” 

 

“The question, Kuroo,” Kenma reminded. Kuroo smiled and raised his eyebrows while making a flourishing show of reading off the flashcard. 

 

“Okay, here goes your question and here comes my free coffee - which one of the following medications is used to treat not only schizophrenia, but also irritability caused by autism and/or bipolar disorder?” He studied the card with jet black eyes. “Damn, some of these I don’t know if I can pronounce. A) Risperidone, common brand name Risperdal, B) Perphenazine, common brand name Prochlorperazine, C) Abilify, or D)...uh, Mucinex.” 

 

“First of all, I know that by Mucinex you are referring to the admittedly hard to pronounce medication Quetiapine, also known by its more pronounceable off brand Seroquel. Second of all, both of those are wrong. Surprisingly, however, you were still able to pronounce Prochlorperazine, which is impressive yet confusing since you couldn’t get the one you substituted Mucinex correct. But once again, both Perphenazine and/or Prochlorperazine are not the correct answer. Abilify, though, can be used to treat bipolar disorder and schizophrenia but is not commonly associated with treating symptoms of autism that may make life difficult for those with the diagnosis. That leaves Risperidone, brand name Risperdal.” Kenma halted before they rounded the corner to the local Starbucks and turned to Kuroo. 

 

“Looks like you owe me a coffee,” he said, smirking at his friend. Kuroo looked surprised for a moment but quickly let a cat-like grin take over his face again. 

 

“I guess I do.” Kenma hid a smug smile and started walking again. Kuroo followed him after stretching, hands behind his head and hair messy. Relaxed, normal, and sober. Just like how he wanted it nowadays.

 

“But, Ken-chan, since this /is/ my sixth month sober, you should still get me something. You know what? You should pick me some dope ass daisies. I fucking love daisies.” 

 

Suddenly the smaller gasped. He was drawn to the cafe window like magnet, both his hands and face pressed to the glass. Kenma giggled quietly and bounced on the balls of his toes. 

 

Kuroo knew this look. 

 

“All my favorites are here,” Kenma breathed. His friend sighed and pulled him back from the window he was dirtying by the collar of his shirt. The shorter was giddy, and Kuroo had to remind him not to point. “Look, Oikawa and Iwaizumi are in line to get drinks. I wonder if Oikawa will get something with caffeine or not - I saw that in his gym bag he sometimes carries around Ritalin - to sell probably, considering the irregularity of when he actually takes his prescription - which implies that he has ADD or ADHD. The funny thing is, that the main acting drug in both Ritalin and Adderall is caffeine! Did you know that, Kuroo? It has the opposite effect on someone with a hyperactive disorder than it normally would on someone like me or you. And it looks like Iwaizumi is with him, so it’s likely that he got Oikawa to take his medicine if they’re out in public. Ooh, but look at the length of his sleeves - and it looks like he got a green tea latte, how could I forget that’s his regular? - when he grabs his drink both of his sleeves are over his hands.” 

 

Kenma turns to Kuroo excitedly. “Do you think he has new marks on his arms? I’ve seen him both self injure but also write different symbols in ink. I suspect he knows several languages, judging by the remnants of Hebrew, Korean, German, French and even the more obscure Baltic language Estonian that I’ve seen on his wrists and sometimes fingers. I would make a good guess that languages are his special interest. There’s also a likelihood that he’s taking Risperidone for his irritability, which I would normally assume is caused by autism, but I think in Oikawa’s case it’s ADHD taking into account that his /is/ on Ritalin, which a lot of people don’t know is also considered a developmental disorder more than a mental illness like the more common depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety.” 

 

“Kenma,” Kuroo hissed, “you can’t just say that kind of stuff where other people might be able to hear it!” Again, the older sighed and began fishing through the satchel he brought. 

 

“And Sugawara and Daichi are here too! Aah, I need to get my Brain Book right now.” The blond dove for the satchel before Kuroo could close it again and retrieved a leather-bound journal and a package of scented pencils. They had been gifts from Kuroo after graduating his first college-level psychology night class during his first year of high school. 

 

“Well, there’s no stopping you when you’re on a roll, is there?” Kuroo gently took Kenma’s journal out his hands when he almost immediately started to fray the cord binding it, then took the pencils away when he began chewing on the erasers. He saw that thoughts were running a thousand miles per hour in that smart ass head of his. 

 

Without distracting Kenma from his hyperfocused thoughts, Kuroo slipped a thin rope necklace made from retired t-shirts around Kenma’s neck. Instantly the younger brought it up to his mouth and chewed excitedly. Kuroo made more than sure to shoot a death glare at anyone who stopped to stare or whisper. 

 

“Okay, so the deal is I owe you a coffee for getting 100% of your flashcards right, and because the whole point of you insisting we bring your Brain Book everywhere we go is to be prepared for situations like this, we can sit at the empty table next to the rail on the indoor balcony. You can see the entire cafe from there, but the other part of the deal is that you /have to be quiet/ when you talk and write about this stuff, okay?” Kuroo bargained. Kenma nodded enthusiastically, and Kuroo was satisfied.

 

He was about to open the door for him when his veins went to ice the moment he could sense Kenma tense up and halt all his stimming activities at once. “Even my favorite least-favorite person is here tonight,” he whispered. Kenma was nervous, possibly borderline scared, and his intuition was very, very rarely wrong. 

 

“Who is it?” Kuroo asked quietly. 

 

“The Tsukishima brothers just walked in from the entrance by the parking lot. What an interesting night it’s going to be.” It was hard for Kuroo to read the new tone Kenma spoke in, but something definitely irked him about the older brother as his friend made eye contact with him. Akiteru blushed and turned away to say something to his brother. He seemed flustered. Kuroo could tell that Kenma needed to know what was happening with the brothers, and honestly he wanted to know too. Mostly for the younger brother’s safety, he realized with a sinking feeling.

 

“It’s like the four horsemen of the apocalypse,” Kenma’s voice wavered with an emotion Kuroo couldn’t pinpoint. 

 

“Who’s the fourth horseman?” he asked. 

“Us, of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments my dudos, they make my life 1000% more cool beans c:


End file.
